Tuesday, September 29, 2009 @ 11:25:00 PM
i miss your everything. cried to sleep every night... now i know the real pain of love...
hello... went to school... thn erhh had morning run... thn science was ultra attentive... thn EL free period, studied for historyy test... thn aft recess is lit went thru essay... i was also listening!!! arnd half the class bo chup... thn history had test and talk cuz Mr Syed's lappy failed him... thn PC did presentation... thn ate and HSH... dad trick me... lol...

i find myself tearing whenever im alone... hugging my thighs, thinking of the littlest memories we had... many asked whyy, and asking me to forget you... but... but... i just cannot do it after trying for 2 months... it pass with a blink of an eye... sometimes, i wonder if i was not there at the first place we will never meet and know each other... then the sufferings would be lesser... why? why must god let me know you? Fate, Affinity, Destiny? seriously speaking, i don't believe in love at first sight... cuz even so... this love won't last... got bullied by people in school, how i hope that you were that old you that wants to protect me and care for me... i guess now you don't even want to contact me anymore... its okayy... i would just have to suffer it myself... i have no true friend that is able to know me inside out and understands me... i have no idea how to cope... when im cold, i think of your hugs... when im crying, i think of your shoulders... all this littlest things makes me miss you evenmore... you are the first to do all these... and i feel warmth and security when i am with you... cried and cried and cried non-stop... but what can i do more? maybe its time to...... i feel no care and concern from people arnd even my parents N-O NO... none... who can really understands how i feel? only one...but she's so faraway... when i cry, people ask me to stop but it wun... but her respones will be asking me to cry till i have no tears or threaten me that it will be the last... though she is not a good girl but she mades a good companion and a good sister... i dun have friend like her here..... i dun... i can just cry out and people will just say, dun cry lerhh, cheer up etc etc... as if i can... if i can i wouldn't be cryinggg...as i am typing tears roll down my cheeks... i am sick and tired of life..... forget it... Byee humans...

Labels: it hurts too much